“Well Mr Anderson, I don’t know how you’ve managed this long without glasses, but you definitely need glasses for everyday use”, said the pretty optician to Barry. “If you go out the front and have a look at some frames, I’ll log your results on to the computer”.
Barry stood up from the chair and made his way to the front of the store to have a look at some of the frames. Barry’s vision had been poor for quite some time but he was paranoid about getting glasses in case he got slagged from his mate for having four eyes, so he never bothered getting his eyes tested, but enough was enough.
“Can I help you sir?”, came a voice from a young man named Jared.
“Aye sure, I’ve never worn glasses before so I’m not too sure what style would suit me best”, replied Barry.
“Well the round frames are in style right now and are very popular, there are a few frames round the other side and a mirror on the back wall if you want to try them on?”, said Jared.
“Aye no problem, I’ll just have a wee look and give you a shout if I find the right pair”, said Barry, obviously not wanting the help of an honest working man.
Barry tried on a few frames but he thought he looked like a tool with all of them on, so he just picked up the 2 for 1 offer on the frames that he thought he suited best and took them to the till.
“Will that be all for you today Mr Anderson?”, asked the nice lady at the till.
“Aye, just the glasses. In fact, do you do sports goggles as well?”, Barry asked.
“Yes, we can arrange that using your prescription. These are the styles they come in, which one would you prefer?”, replied the nice lady.
Barry looks at the list of two pairs of sports goggles – both look fucking ridiculous – and he points at the first pair.
“Those will do. When will they be ready for collection?”, asked Barry.
“It usually takes up to five business days, but we have your contact number so we will give you a call when they are ready”, said the nice lady.
Barry paid for the glasses, got his receipt, and left the store. He drove home in his Fiat Punto and his face was almost three inches from the windscreen his vision was that bad. Luckily, it was a road that Barry is familiar with or his ability to read road signs would be considered dangerous.
“Hi son, how did it go then?”, asked Barry’s mum.
“As expected, I need a pair of glasses”, Barry said gloomily.
“Oh don’t worry about it son, there is nothing wrong with having four eyes”, joked his mum.
Barry went upstairs with a cup of tea and turned on his Playstation to play some Call of Duty online with his friends.
“Awrite Baz? Where were ye this morning?”, quizzed his closest mate Steve.
“I was at the opticians for an eye test, and guess what? I’m as blind as a bat”, said Barry.
“I could of telt ye that ya hawf wit, it might improve yer aim in Call of Duty”, laughs Steve.
“Aye maybe, will find out next week”, said Barry, and they continue to play for hours with Barry’s face a bawhair away from the screen.
The following week, Barry receives a phone call from the opticians to say that his glasses were ready for collection. Barry decides to head into town straight away to pick up his new glasses and sports goggles.
That evening, Barry had a game of 5-a-side football organised at his local sports centre with his friends. When he turned up to the sports centre, his friends were in the sports hall warming up by knocking a football around and taking shots from long range. Everyone stops and laughs when Barry entered the hall.
“Who dae you hink ye are wae those goggles? Edgar Davids?”, said Colin jokingly.
“Speccy want an eccy?”, said Tam.
“Fuckin’ hell they hings are like milk bottles”, joked Stu.
The comments and jokes continued to be directed at Barry and his new sports goggles, and it was obvious to see that it was getting on his nerves and affecting his confidence, but that didn’t stop his mates from slagging him.
It was Barry’s turn to go in goal. Stu took the ball and dribbled the ball past Dave and struck the ball as hard as he could and like a homing missile, the ball smashed Barry’s face and burst his nose.
“Oaft, guess yer goggles didny help ye see that coming”, shouted Dave, “ye awrite?”, he then asks.
“Aye fine mate, I better go clean this up”, and Barry leaves the hall, never to return to finish the game.
Barry jumped straight into his car and put his glasses on to drive home. He started to well up thinking about everyone slagging him and his new glasses.
“Oh my god son, what happened to ye?”, asks Barry’s mum as he walked in the door.
“Nothin’ to worry about mum, the ball hit me on the face and burst ma nose”, replied Barry.
“Guess the goggles didny help ye see the baw comin’ then”, said Barry’s dad, a comment he already heard earlier from Stu, he just expected better from his dad.
Barry headed upstairs to wash and hide away for the rest of the evening.
* * *
It was Saturday night and Barry was heading out in town with his friends, but he decided he wasn’t drinking and would just drive instead.
Text Message from Steve:
Awrite speccy, we’re in spoons up the back. When ye headin out?
Text Message to Steve:
Just getting ready the noo, won’t be long.
Barry jumped in his car and put his glasses on, but then remembered if he turns up with the glasses on, he’ll get ripped, so decided to put them in the glove box and started the car engine.
It was getting dark and the rain was lashing down, so Barry had his window wipers at full speed and his face a few inches from the windscreen.
Barry was twenty minutes away from town and pulled onto the dual carriage way, the rain was coming down hard making it difficult to see the road.
A few minutes on the dual carriage way Barry spots a large deer on the road and manages to avoid smashing into it by swerving into the other lane. He composed himself at the wheel and his heart was pounding in his chest.
“That was close”, he said to himself.
About half a mile from the turn off he needed to take, his car hit a large surface of water and his car skidded into the central reservation and the momentum took him on to the other side of the carriage way. He was like a rabbit caught in headlights, scared stiff facing the side of the road he just came from. Then, to his right, headlights were approaching and getting brighter and brighter. Barry heard a large horn when suddenly his driver side door was struck by a large lorry.
The lorry driver flew from his windscreen over Barry’s car and hit the ground and died instantly – he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt.
Barry died instantly as the lorry crushed the small Fiat Punto.
* * *
A couple of weeks down the line and Barry’s mum stands up at his funeral to say a few words.
“I can’t believe that today I have to bury my wee boy. He was loved by so many and had the whole world ahead of him”
She paused and looked down at her handkerchief which was drenched in tears and snot,
“I just don’t know why he wasn’t wearing his glasses, I just wish the speccy wee dick was wearing his glasses”